The Badge Archive

Sing – Gory, Gory, What a Heck of a Way to Die

WARNING – Some of these lyrics are offensive and/or violent-natured

Also known as “He Jumped Without A Parachute” or “What a Helluva Way to Die”

Printable Music

Recordings

Lyrics

Chorus:
Gory, gory, what a heck of a way to die
Suspended by your braces, when you don’t know how to fly
Gory, gory, what a heck of a way to die
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

Sing each Verse followed by the Chorus:

He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute.
He landed on the pavement like a lump of strawberry jam.
They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see.
She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea.
The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

Variations:

Detailed Paratrooper

Chorus:
Gory, gory, what a heck of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a heck of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a heck of way to die.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.

Sing each Verse followed by the Chorus:

He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright.
He checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight.
He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar.
You ain’t gonna jump no more.

“Is everybody happy?” cried the sergeant looking up.
Our hero feebly answered, “Yes”, and then they stood him up.
He jumped into the icy blast, his static line unhooked.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock.
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop.
The silk from his reserve spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome.
Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones.
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

The days he lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind.
He thought about the girl back home, the one he left behind.
He thought about the medicos and wondered what they’d find.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild.
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, rolled up their sleeves and smiled.
For it had been a week or more since last a ‘chute had failed.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

He hit the ground, the sound was “Splat,” his blood went spurting high.
His comrades they were heard to say, “A heck way to die.”
He lay there rolling ’round in the welter of his gore.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the ‘chute.
Intestines were a-dangling from his paratrooper suit.
He was a mess, they picked him up and poured him from his boots.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

Rock Climber

Chorus:
Gory, gory, what a heck of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a heck of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a heck of way to die.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.

Sing each Verse followed by the Chorus:

“Will it go around the chalkstone?” called the belayer, looking up.
Our hero feebly answered, “Yes,” and slowly inched on up.
He was trying to drive a piton when his foothold crumbled out.
Oh he ain’t gonna climb no more!

He slid right down the chimney and he quickly gathered speed.
He shot past the belayer, who’d forgot the Climber’s Creed.
An anchor to a piton would’ve been all he’d ever need.
Oh he ain’t gonna climb no more!

The belayer felt the rope pull taut and tried to let it run.
But it jerked him from position and he knew his time had come.
He left the ledge behind him and it shot up toward the sun.
Oh they ain’t gonna climb no more!

They sped on down the chimney and they passed the Southern Col.
They had such good exposure that it made a glorious fall.
They slithered o’er a friction pitch and sped on down the wall.
Oh they ain’t gonna climb no more!

The medic in the valley watched them through his telescope.
As they neared the bottom, his eyes grew bright with hope.
For it had been a week or more since the parting of the rope
Oh they ain’t gonna climb no more!

One had a rope around his neck and a piton through his spleen.
An ice-axe in the rucksack had split the other’s bean.
The trails of read marked their descent as they neared the slopes of green.
Oh they ain’t gonna climb no more!

They hit the ground, the sound was “splat”, the blood went spurting high!
Their comrades were heard to say, “What a colorful way to die.”
And as they lay there rolling in the welter of their gore.
Oh they ain’t gonna climb no more!

There was blood upon the rucksacks, there were brains upon the rope.
Intestines were entwined across the green and grassy slope.
We picked them up in a lunch pail after salvaging the rope.
Oh they ain’t gonna climb no more!

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References:

Tia Kennard